Honestly, I just don't get it.
I help people and they think I'm kind and nice. Don't they know that if I do help them its only because I like them to begin with? I mean, if I was really that kind and nice I'd be helping those that I despise. Then again, this is sort of a free world and every individual has the right to think whatever they want to.
Worst part is when you try to do good and all you get in return is disassociation. I mean if you're a person with autism or dementia or something similarly mentally debilitating then I guess that's acceptable.
Even worse when they don't know how ruthless and malevolent (or cold and unfeeling, take your pick) I can be as how all who truly know me knows
Maybe I should just be the megalomaniac I was before, without a care for any other soul but my own. I mean, that is how the world is right? Or how else do you explain how bad things always happen to good people?
Aren't we all born into this shithole alone? Without created concepts of ties of family and friends, save for the umbilical cords of sustenance to our birth moms? And do we not leave this cradle of decadence alone? Buried, cremated or just plainly fed to the animals alone, without any to accompany us?
I guess a person will always choose to feel or think in the way that suits them best. And most times without regards for others. Which is of course their choice.
Perhaps I should just go with this current trend of selfishness. I mean it seems to work fine for almost everyone else in this 6 billion population fishbowl.
Just me against the world and everything else, once again and from the looks of it forever and ever.
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