Adementia/ Aamnesia (Memories)

As I stood, watching
Across an expanse of the past
A tinted vision of what was
A tainted perception of what laid there
Viewed true through crystal eyes

Spurts of color radiated
From where the memories were strong
And all of them were, persistently so
None loss nor forgotten
Forever etched, ever engraved

I cannot forget
What was done, what was said
What was felt
Everything, everyone
A blessing? My curse, unending

A place revisited, faces reacquainted
And statements resurfaced
Through the mind's eye, reaugmented, reinforced
To which I hold, steadfast and unmoving
And yet ..........

How I envy those who forget
Unable to recount the sorrow, the pain
Ever malleable, always altering
Never remembering their actions, their words
The consequences, purpose, repurcussions

As if all was as it was before
Occurances camouflaged by time
Feelings detached from experiences
Buried deep, under greyed neurons
Jaded, blurred and eternally lost

No jolt to awaken them
Not my insignificant presence
Nor my demanour reeking suffering
A slumber so deep, not realizing the truth
A delightful bliss I would never come to know

How I wished for their amnesia ...
How I yearned for their dementia ...
The unfeeling, cold of forgetting ...

I cannot forget
Never relinquish these parts of me
However small, however tormenting

I cannot ever forget

Adementia. Aamnesia.