Of Now and 75 days hence

Honestly, I am as much fatigued with what has happened in recent weeks as I am both anxious and excited with what is to come in about two months or so.

What I wished I was able to do on my bus rides now

Firstly though, more on the fatigue part. As most may or may not know by now, I've since moved from the vicinity of the southern Central Business District to the northern part of this island nation. As a result I have also swapped a 20 min bus ride to work in south eastern Singapore with a jarring 1 hour and 45 min to 2 hour triple bus hopping journey to work. Needless to say this isn't the type of travel times that I'm used to. Double that up with the return trip and it eats up around 4 hours of my waking day, a time constraint with which I also had issues adapting to. Time that I would've used either to relax or catch up on my literature reading. How precious those minutes felt in these last three weeks and would be for some time to come.

In addition to that, the next module of my advanced diploma course had started again. And it is a Statistics module of which I was totally unprepared for which means that I have a whole lot of catching up to do, especially with the literature reviews and creation of a questionnaire before I am able to gather the required data for my assignment submission.

Not my uncle but probably what the face in his heart
and mind was making when I tried to convince him

A target that I could not quite meet this weekend as both me and my wife had to coax my single late 60 year old uncle into moving out of his apartment where he was staying alone and back to my mum's place. This wasn't something that was preplanned. We, as in me, my mom, my other uncle and my dad had just got wind of his inability to move about his community all that well a few days ago due to a sharp pain he felt on his thigh. Add that to the fact that he had his left leg amputated due to gangrene, one can imagine our sense of urgency and distress in getting him to move back to my mum's place. What with the fasting month coming soon, him being diabetic and there being nobody else staying with him, it would seem prudent and safer for him to shift. I did a piss poor job of convincing him though but thankfully my wife much more diplomatically inclined, at least when it came to dealing with the elderly, than I was and she managed to convince him that the move would be in his best interest. Yay wife! With that said, this was after a near 5 hour Mexican standoff-ish kind of moment where neither he nor us were going to budge.  But thank goodness it did. All that made us both reach home around 11 pm last night and were tired as tired gets. Add the outing today before the start of the fasting month next weekend and it would be safe to say that I did not get the time of rest that I was so accustomed to in weekends before. And I hope too to be forgiven for pushing back on work or study stuff that should be done now. My mind and body is aching for some down time.

On a somewhat higher note though, 2 months or so from now will be the due date of when my baby son (at least according to the scans) would be born. Needless to say I'm undoubtedly excited but nervous and anxious at the same time. My primary worries are what current fathers or even psychologists would label as being 'normal' during the period of when their wives are going to be due. Financial concerns, health concerns (for my wife that is), concerns of whether I'll be good enough of a dad. 'Normal' though they may be given the situation but it doesn't make them any less valid or real. And it scares the hell out of me too. Which can be a good thing, I guess as I don't quite get scared that easily.

Of all those emotions that are clamouring for my attention, I guess at the tip of it all, I feel more hopeful than anything else. Hopeful that my wife would deliver in the safest way possible, hopeful that my son would be healthy and hopeful that I'll be the best dad he'll ever have.

As for the financial side of things, anyone out there got a truckload of cash they don't need? Heh. But yeah, I'm hopeful that things would be on the up with regards to that too.